The Road To Freedom

If you are looking for free step by step solutions to overcome social anxiety you are in the right place. I want you to feel at ease and know that you can come here anytime and know that you are not alone in your suffering with social anxiety. Even though you may feel that way. My mission is simple. I give you step by step tangible real world solutions for overcoming fear and insecurity. 

Issues like: 

                        -Facial Blushing

                        -Eating In Front Of Others

                        -Feeling "Oh NO!" When Someone tries to talk to you and just             wishing they would go away

                         -Having Obsessive thoughts about your facial expressions

                         -Being quiet and awkward around your co-workers

                         -Feeling inferior to others

                         -Being mildly paranoid of what others are thinking about you

If you read the above and thought "I didn't know anyone COULD suffer from these things" then you most definitely do NOT have social anxiety and I would ask you to please leave now..

This place is exclusively for you if you are reading this and suffer from at least one or more of the above sticking points. And I would be honored if you would consider me your coach. Because we're both in this together wether we want to be or not. Just trying to keep our sanity and enjoy life more without the viscous cycle of social anxiety holding us in a mind made prison.

Here are some keys for getting better:

Key Number 1. In order for you to get better you have to understand what's NOT going to get you better. Have you heard the old saying "insanity is doing the exact same thing amd expecting different results. Without a doubt the sure fire way to stay stuck is to keep doing EXACTLY what you HAVE been doing. Say it with me.. 

"If I want my life to change I'm going to have to change things in my life."

You're reading this thinking "yeah obviously I want my life to change but I don't know what to do. And I don't want to try anything too crazy." Look. I understand. And I would never ask you to do something that was scary or weird. But what I am asking you is to realize that the same habits and behaviors that have been screwing things up for you are not the same habits and behaviors that are going to free you from your social anxiety. 

You're gonna have to try a few new things. Experiment with some new techniques. And learn some new ideas that can shed some light of how your mind REALLY works. And how you can make it work FOR you, rather than against you.

Because once you have your mind under control everything becomes a whole lot easier. You feel more confident and life seems to be more of a nice place to live. I think that we can both agree that there's nothing more isolating than a mind that wont shut up. When you start applying my step by step recipes for calming your mind, you won't believe how much more confident you'll feel around people.  

Key Number 2. A lot of the things that decrease social anxiety and produce extroverted behavior are the same things that improve you life in general. Things like exercise, diet, and nutritional supplements that give your brain and body what it's missing boost your level of mental functioning like nothing else. Many of the main facets of my approach is based on something called the "Mind-Body Connection."

 This is a principle that proves concretely that the mind and body are not two separate things but one interwoven and symbiotic unit. That means that anything that affects the body, also affects the mind. And vise versa, anything that affects the mind also affects the body. When you change your physical health, your mind benefits just as much as your body. I'll show you how to make your body healthy and strong, so your mind can be too. Most critically is finding the right EFA's (essential fatty acids) and vitamin B supplements to immediately enhance your body's reaction to fear and the fight or flight response. 

Key Number 3. In order for you to become confident around people you have to first understand how the psychology of confidence works. Confidence is a mental program program that operates the same in every person. Why? Because we all have a central nervous system. Once you have a better understanding of the psychology of confidence, you'll be able to systematically build it for yourself and ingrain it deep with the depths of your personality. With practice you can become bulletproof.

So the three keys are: 

1. Willingness to try something new 

2. The mind-body connection

3. The psychology of confidence

It's been a long road of experimenting with all kinds of methods from the esoteric and spiritual, to the the basic and pragmatic. What I've found is that a lot of the time what you think would work, won't. And the things you think definitely wont work, will. It's counter intuitive. And sometimes humbling to find out you were wrong about something. 

But you don't have to reinvent the wheel and try all the different approaches that I have to beat social anxiety. Because I have tried it all and am here to show you what works and what does doesn't from my own personal experience. And that alone should save you years of having to find that out for yourself through your own trial and error. I have a passion for empowering people and I think once you start getting results for yourself with your own confidence, you then can do what I'm doing and empower other people who are struggling with social anxiety. 

Anyways, if your interested in any of things I mentioned here then check back for more articles and advice. And do me a favor. Check out my youtube channel and let me know how you like my videos. 

That's all for now,

Vince

How To Stop Caring About What People Think And Become More Extroverted

Today I want to discuss something very important and commonly experienced not just from people who have the challenge of severe to mild social anxiety, but also extroverts and so called "naturally confident people. Then I will be giving you a step by step formula for how you can transcend this trap and become more extroverted with your daily interactions with people at work school and social environments. The challenge I'm referring to today is the oh so common:

 "I can't stop caring about what people think about me," syndrome.

Now, most people who suffer from social anxiety have in one way or another been told to "just stop caring about what other people think of them" more times that you care to remember. And always by people who don't have SA. And they think thats like some mind blowing and paradigm shifting advice. Like I'm gonna say " oh yeah, I never thought of that before.. I should just STOP caring about what other people think! Thanks! I got it now! I'll start doing that forever from now on! But I ....can't?

Lol. See everyone has an opinion about shyness and the people who have it. But the reality is, that you can't just simple STOP caring about what other people think. Because if it was that simple. You would have done it by now. And you would have done it a long time ago. You don't WANT to care about what other people think, you just for some reason do.

Now this view language of "caring about what other people think" could mean one thing to one person and one thing to another. But universally I think it describes a complex experience involving both uncontrollable bodily sensations, and a temporary inability to use your thinking, speaking and conversational faculties normally, while at the same time being acutely sensitive to the status and behavior of the involved persons and how your own status is perceived in relation to them.

In other words a feeling of being restricted and smothered in an inability to behave how you want around people you think are cooler than you.
Now of the several factors that could be discussed and brought up as contributing factors to this experience, the biggest one that I know of is this: You don't like yourself and see yourself as not enough, and as a result you try to seek hints and signs from other people to show you that you are in fact enough, and a worthy person. But the root of the problem is that you see yourself as less that others for x y and z reason, so you look to the approval of others to make you feel better and disprove you negative beliefs about yourself that you hope aren't true, but still are holding you back. 

So what do you do? Nobody has told you how to change this. How do you fix a negative belief? Is it even possible? How long would that take and how hard would it be? 

Well some beliefs take years to change, some can change rather quickly, and some will never change because they are so deep rooted that they are practically superglued to your mind throu layers apon layers of emotion. But the first thing you must understand is that people DO change their beliefs, people DO change, and people DO sometimes grow up introverted and then go thought a complete transformation and come out the other side as an extrovert. It's just that its not that common, and you probably believe that some people are born introverts, and some as extroverts, and your stuck with what you got and you can't change. Well let me just tell you, that's complete bullshit. 

Let me tell you a story..

Growing up I was that kid that never talked. I was homeschooled up until 6th grade, and when my parents divorced I was put into public school in 7th. I was the most socially awkward kid you could imagine. I never talked to the other kids, and if I had a presentation I had to give I front of the class on a book or a science project or something, I'd do everything I could to avoid doing it. Even taking an F if that we're neccicary. That's how much I feared being judged by other people. And not on,y that, I had even the fear of being uncomfortable. Afraid of being afraid. Now try that one on for size.

I thought I would always be that scared little homeschooler, but by the end of 7 th grade, and on into that sum,we break, I became different. I slowly began to speak up in conversations instead of looking at the floor and wishing I could think of something to say. I became more comfortable having the attention spotlight on me, when before it would make me turn red and want to run away. And although it wasn't much, I began to notice myself and my behavior subtle change Ito more and more extroverted and then back into introverted. It was like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. 2 steps forward, and sometimes 3 steps back. And it drove me nuts because I didn't know what was causing it. Some days I felt relaxed and could talk to people and hang out well in groups, and other days I felt like I was trapped inside of someone else who I wanted to forget and cut loose. The part of me that I hated wished nobody could see. 

For years I felt like I was living in this duality of "am I a shy introvert, or am I a cool social guy?!" Because I was both of them at different times. I would study and anilize the slight comments other people would make about me and make empirical study's in my mind of what they meant and what that could mean about myself. I didn't know who I was, didn't have strong beliefs on who I was, and was at effect and mercy of the opinions of others which would then quickly become my internal sees of reality and opinion of mylsef. I wanted them to have a good a pinion of me, so that I could have a good opinion of me. Because I had none of my own and was confised about who I was. I wanted the, to think well of me so that I could think well of me.
There's a very complex cause and effect that happens from your own beliefs about yourself called the Pygmalion effect aka the self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that you are an outgoing person and see yourself as an outgoing person, you mind will make you act like an outgoing person, and then other people will perceive you as an outgoing person and respond to you like an outgoing person and your belief gets stronger and produces the outgoing behavior then gets more enforcement and produces more outgoing behavior and it just become an endless loop that keeps getting stronger and stronger and stronger. 

If you can change the internal belief, and create a new Pygmalion effect, the behaviors although s,all at first over weeks, months, and years, form their own momentum and force to where they just become your normal autopilot way of behaving. But how on earth can you chage the way you see yourself, change you beliefs and create the new behavior that creates a new Pygmalion effect in your favor?

Well I'm not going to lie to you, it's not easy, and takes time. But I do absolutely promose you that it's possible. If you have been behaving socially awkward, feeling socially awkward, and living Ina reality of expecting yourself to be socially awkward for a long time, you're going to have to do a number of things to get the ball rolling on some new and improved beliefs, and be really consistent with some of these key techniques I'm about to show you.
Your self image acts as a small child would, believing whatever you tell it without questioning it. We can use this to our advantage by delibrately showing it how we want to act instead of how we don't want to act. And we do this by taking advantage of the minds most sensitive and impressionable times of first thing in the morning and right before sleep. The reason for this is that's the time when your mind is not fully conscious, and not fully unconscious. Technically speaking its called an "alpha" state. 

When you wake up in the morning, immediately begin Immagining yourself going through the day ahead of you. Only this time instead of behaving shy and introverted, see yourself walking with a sense of swagger and ease. Hear yourself confidently speaking your mind and the positive ways that people react to your new and improved personality. Watch as you see yourself speaking up in those key meetings and really being a key focal point in the group discussion. And have fun with this. Imagine your a kid again and you can create whatever you want from scratch. The way you act. The way you dress. The kinds of things you talk about. See yourself behaving and feeling the ways that you want to behave and feel with intense precision and clairity as if it were a super HD movie being played inside the screen of your mind.

Do this for about 5 minutes and then get on with your day. If you do this for 2 weeks straight you will have planted in your mind a new set of instructions that it can now work on unconsciously finding ways to bring these new ideal behaviors to the surface, and will quietly work on this without you even knowing it in the deep unconscious of your mind. And don't skip even one morning of this exercise for 2 weeks and really get into the Imagining of it to give your mind clear and vivid depiction of yourself behaving in your new ideal way. For extra credit, and even better results do a nighttime session for another 5 minutes right before going to bed. This will ensure you fully saturate you unconscious mind for maximum results.

This technique is extremely powerful not only for changing your self image, but also for things like competitive sports and musical performances. Intacmany of the top Olympic athletes use this on a daily basis and is a key tenant of their training regiment because it allows you to even though your not doing the sport at that moment, still rehearse it in your mind and create more neural pathways in your brain to do that thing even better next time. 
But all the knowledge in the world has no power to change your life for the better unless you take personal responsibility and decide to try it for yourself. Make the commitment to yourself to try this quick little technique and find out if it really is as great as I say. What have you got to lose! 5 minutes of your morning? And do me a favor. Keep me informed with your progress from social anxiety, to true self esteem and personal power by emailing me your ideas, comments, and questions. I want to know what you think. 

You can e-mail me at:
Vince@eliteinnergame.com
Until next time, Live With Courage

-Vince King

The Black Heart Cavern Of The Mind, And The Demon Trapped In Your Psyche

The Demon

Hello. I am the demon that lives inside of you. You've always had your suspicions that I have been tampering with you for quite some time now but for some reason, you ceased to fight and began believing that my thoughts are in fact your own. 

I am the one who whispers to you all the horrible and pathetic parts of your personality. I am the one who tells you of the strange ways in in which you act around people. And yes, I am the one who criticizes your voice, your facial expressions, and the way you walk. And how amusing it is to me that you believe me every time! 

Hahaha what a gullible little twerp you are! My every uttered sentence, my brilliantly frightening disaster movies play in your mind every day, ALL day and you never get bored of them. I LOVE you! What amusement and satisfaction you bring me when I watch you squirm and fret at all of my glorious creations.

 But the one thing that could ruin it for us all is if you actually just woke up and realized that my mental projections aren't you. Their ME. Messing with you. Lying to you. Pushing you in the dirt. Day after day after day. It seems that only I understand what's going on here. And of the sleeping warlord that lays inside you. Dormant. Yet completely and readily available to be claimed and fully harnessed for absolute domination. 

But who am I to show you what you done even care to examine. Is it my job to introduce you to yourself? But wait, that's right you don't even know who you are. You don't even know WHAT you are! You don't even know where you CAME from! Ahhahaha! Such a tragedy when one doesn't even know what one is, or what one is even capable of...

I will continue on with my entertains pursuit for full domination of your psyche. Until that one day when you decide to evict me for your own ideas and opinions..

Black heart cavern of the mind.. Occupied. 

How Learning To Look AT Your Thoughts, Rather Than FROM Them, Is The Key To Improved Confidence And Self Esteem

 Do you know that you are not your mind? Really. Think About that one. You are not you thoughts or your emotions. But When you are having scared thoughts, you think that it's you. It's not. And you know what, you are something much more that those things. You are something much deeper. You are an eternal being inhabiting this body much like a space man inside of a space suit. and let me tell you, this space suit has some pretty intense desires. Most primary and strong are: 

1. The desire to SURVIVE
2. The desire to reproduce and have little space suits. (LOL!)
3. The desire to conserve energy

 If you think back to many years ago when it was really a whole lot harder to survive, it was a very handy thing to be able to sense danger of anything pertaining to your survival. Which is why it was also pretty handy to have a healthy fear of things that were potential dangers to your survival. You'd see the tiger, your nervous system would immediately pump you full of idrenilin, and this would get your butt moving away from the danger in no time fast! Those who never developed this, do not exist today  BECAUSE THEY WERE WEEDED OUT OF EXISTENCE!

 Today, in 2012, we no longer face things like having to kill wild beasts with our bare hands, or fight other humans to the death for scarce resources. But the fact remains that we still are wired biologicly and emotionaly for exactly that time period! 

 What you call, "shyness", is nothing more than your bodys programming doing it's best to keep you alive! Do you understand that? Maybe you might even want to give yourself a pat on the back next time you feel even more shy that usual an say to yourself, "Thank You. I Know You Are Just Doing What You Think Is Best For My Survival." It sounds silly, and it is! Shyness IS silly. But you know what's even more silly than that? When you believe that YOU ARE shy, or that you are your shyness. Like I said earlier, you're not your mind, and your not you're emotions. You're something much deeper.

 And I'm not here claiming to know all the answers. I have no idea what the meaning of life is. I don't know where we came from. i don't know where you go after you die. I don't know why Lindsey Lohan does the things she does. All I know is the things I have learned and experiences through my own eyes, and have observed that are true in my own life experience. This is what I DO know: 

  We as humans absolutely have the ability and power to change our life situation, and our personality and ways of viewing ourselves. BUT, there IS at the same time one main thing that can actually stop you from taking the necessary steps, AND completely DESTROY and SHUT DOWN your chances. Do you know what it is?

 Put simply, your beliefs directly enable or kill the behaviors that would lead to GETTING WHAT YOU WANT. If you believe that you can't lose weight, you will never participate in behaviors like going to the gym, learning about diet and nutrition, or writing down in great detail exactly what you want your body to be like. You just keep walking blindly along the path your on, not even seeing all these other paths that are there for you to walk down. You don't even know it's an option on the menu! 

5 Major Mistakes To Avoid When Overcoming Social Anxiety

Hey whats up!? I hope you are getting a ton of value to immediately use to overcome your social anxiety and shyness. If you have any questions comments concerns, or just want some advice on how you can take control and overcome social anxiety without medication or therapy, email me at vince@eliteinnergame.com.

Today I want to get right to them... the 5 deadly mistakes you need to avoid like the plague if you want to overcome social anxiety and shyness. Pay careful attention because some are very counter intuitive and if you avoid there traps you will save yourself some time on your journey and hopefully stop banging your head against a wall in the process.

Something that you can do RIGHT NOW that will instantly help you is immediately eliminating all consumption of aspartame. What is aspartame? See mistake #5 for more information on this harmful and mind damaging toxin found in several foods you may very well be eating and not even realizing it.

I mention this right up front here because I feel very strongly that consuming aspartame and things like it are one of the biggest factors contributing to your social anxiety and improper thinking habits.

Now, with that being said, join me now as we dive into the 5 biggest mistakes made when overcoming social anxiety and shyness..


MISTAKE #1: Dealing With Symptoms Instead Of Targeting The Cause

Although there are several very powerful and fast techniques I teach to help you become less shy and increase your confidence, they are meant to be used as training wheels and not a crutch. Use the techniques as much as you want, but remember that those techniques aren't going to fix your deeper problems. You must be willing to face your dark side head on and confront yourself honestly on what's really going on inside that head of yours.  

You have core issues inside the machinery and mainframe of your psychology that cannot be changed by quick little techniques. They must be faced head on, by you personally and not turned over to some outside force (a pill a person) expecting them to "fix you." Nobody's gonna fix you.

YOU have to fix you.

You've got to do it for yourself. It's an I side job. I just facilitate the map, the process and the steps that if YOU take responsibility for and take action open, will solve the greater and more core issues holding you back and making you introverted.


MISTAKE #2: Not Understanding Basic Social Dynamics And How Social Interaction And Group Interaction Works

Something that can immediately boost your confidence is finding out things you never knew before about social interaction, and how to be a good conversationalist. There are many commonalities of things that outgoing and extroverted do and say, that are universally interpreted as being of high status.

When you understand and key in on these patterns, you give yourself an unfair advantage that you can immediately start using in your daily interactions with people that will increase your confidence and make you appear more extroverted, as well as give you the security of knowing you'll have something to say if you are at a loss for words, or are feeling shy.

And if you can even improve your social skills by 10% that's going to Immediately create its own momentum to act in ways that you've secretly wanted to for a long time. As well as being and acting like the person who you WANT to be, and deep inside already are but like michoangelos David sculpture needs to be chiseled from the stone and remove the years and years of negative habits and patterns that are no longer serving you.



MISTAKE #3: Being Too Accepting Of Social Anxiety And Not Looking For Solutions

If your like most people with social anxiety, you've boughten into a big lie that says "you are broken and will always have social anxiety." We'll let me just tell you, that's complete bullshit. You can absolutely, categorically,  overcome your social anxiety just like the thousands upon thousands of people who have defeated their social anxiety already.  

Wake up! This is your life! You are not meant to live like this! Social anxiety must be stopped if you want any chance of living a worthwhile life and feeling happy. How are you going to feel at the end of your life if you only lived one fraction of it because of this little rock in your shoe known as social anxiety?

Make the decision to do whatever it takes to get past this and move on with your life. Because you only get ONE life to live. And the time is going to go by anyways,  you might as well spend that time working on this stuff.

Don't let another day go by living like this! Make the decision right here and now that your going to do what it takes to overcome this. Seriously, right now out loud or in your head say

"ENOUGH! !I WILL NO LONGER SIT ON THE SIDELINES AS MY LIFE PASSES ME BY!! AS OF RIGHT NOW I AM TURNING THIS AROUND!! NO MATTER WHAT!!"


MISTAKE #4: Taking Advice From People Who Do Not Understand Social Anxiety And Never Had It

If the best advice you currently have on your social anxiety is, "just be yourself" and the ever so helpful, "just stop caring about what other people think of you." Then I'm here to say.. I'm sorry. The people who gave you this advice mean well. They really do. And I'm sure they really want you to get better. They just don't understand what it's like to have social anxiety because they've never experienced it.

If it were really as simple as just "being yourself" and "not caring what others think of you", you would have done that a looonnnngg time ago wouldn't you? Do yourself a favor. You will make things much easier for yourself and save a whole lot of time of you follow this one simple concept.

Listen to people who have the result that you want. Listen and learn from the people who have been in your situation before and then gotten what you want. And do not listen to people who either currently have social anxiety, or who have never had social anxiety, because they will waste your time and take you down rabbit holes that you need not go down with silly opinions, in verified theory's, and loser mentalities.

Don't do it. Listen to those who have had it, and overcome it. Those are the ones to learn from because they are the ones who understand where you're coming from, and know how to get you out of there.



MISTAKE #5:  Consuming Aspartame And Other Toxins That Create Mental Illness

What is aspirtame? It’s an artificial sweetener found in things like spl*nda and diet soda’s. I’m just gonna tell you point blank period because no one else is gonna.

ASPARTAME IS A VERY DANGEROUS TOXIN AND CHANCES ARE YOU ARE CONSUMING IT BLINDLY.

Go do even just a few minutes to find out about aspartame and you will be horrified. It is absolutely polluting your ability to think correctly and experience a health nervous system or even feel “Normal” because it’s clogging up your brains neural pathways with grotesque toxic waste.



In Conclusion..

Now I think the mere fact that you're reading this right now is proof enough that you are dissatisfied with the way things are going right now and are ready for change.  Why else would you be spending your time reading this? I want you to know that no matter how hard of a case you think you are, and how bad and debilitating your social anxiety has been for you in the past, it's still the past. And this is a new day.

You can right now start doing the things that will set you free. And stop doing the things that have kept you powerless. Join me on your path to self-confidence, social success, and liberation from social anxiety. I don't have all the answers, but I do have many of them. But even knowing all the answers will not change things for you. You must decide to walk the path, and do the work as it is laid out for you.

And do me a favor. Keep me informed with your progress from social anxiety, to true self esteem and personal power by emailing me your ideas, comments, and questions. I want to know what you think.  You can e-mail me at: Vince@eliteinnergame.com

Until Next Time, Live With Courage!

-Vince King

How To Stop Caring About What People Think And Become More Extroverted

Today I want to discuss something very important and commonly experienced not just from people who have the challenge of severe to mild social anxiety, but also extroverts and so called "naturally confident people. Then I will be giving you a step by step formula for how you can transcend this trap and become more extroverted with your daily interactions with people at work school and social environments. The challenge I'm referring to today is the oh so common:

"I can't stop caring about what people think about me," syndrome.

Now, most people who suffer from social anxiety have in one way or another been told to "just stop caring about what other people think of them" more times that you care to remember. And always by people who don't have SA. And they think thats like some mind blowing and paradigm shifting advice. Like I'm gonna say " oh yeah, I never thought of that before.. I should just STOP caring about what other people think! Thanks! I got it now! I'll start doing that forever from now on! But I ....can't?

Lol. See everyone has an opinion about shyness and the people who have it. But the reality is, that you can't just simple STOP caring about what other people think. Because if it was that simple. You would have done it by now. And you would have done it a long time ago. You don't WANT to care about what other people think, you just for some reason do.

Now this view language of "caring about what other people think" could mean one thing to one person and one thing to another. But universally I think it describes a complex experience involving both uncontrollable bodily sensations, and a temporary inability to use your thinking, speaking and conversational faculties normally, while at the same time being acutely sensitive to the status and behavior of the involved persons and how your own status is perceived in relation to them.

In other words a feeling of being restricted and smothered in an inability to behave how you want around people you think are cooler than you.
Now of the several factors that could be discussed and brought up as contributing factors to this experience, the biggest one that I know of is this: You don't like yourself and see yourself as not enough, and as a result you try to seek hints and signs from other people to show you that you are in fact enough, and a worthy person. But the root of the problem is that you see yourself as less that others for x y and z reason, so you look to the approval of others to make you feel better and disprove you negative beliefs about yourself that you hope aren't true, but still are holding you back. 

So what do you do? Nobody has told you how to change this. How do you fix a negative belief? Is it even possible? How long would that take and how hard would it be? 

Well some beliefs take years to change, some can change rather quickly, and some will never change because they are so deep rooted that they are practically superglued to your mind throu layers apon layers of emotion. But the first thing you must understand is that people DO change their beliefs, people DO change, and people DO sometimes grow up introverted and then go thought a complete transformation and come out the other side as an extrovert. It's just that its not that common, and you probably believe that some people are born introverts, and some as extroverts, and your stuck with what you got and you can't change. Well let me just tell you, that's complete bullshit. 

Let me tell you a story..

Growing up I was that kid that never talked. I was homeschooled up until 6th grade, and when my parents divorced I was put into public school in 7th. I was the most socially awkward kid you could imagine. I never talked to the other kids, and if I had a presentation I had to give I front of the class on a book or a science project or something, I'd do everything I could to avoid doing it. Even taking an F if that we're neccicary. That's how much I feared being judged by other people. And not on,y that, I had even the fear of being uncomfortable. Afraid of being afraid. Now try that one on for size.

I thought I would always be that scared little homeschooler, but by the end of 7 th grade, and on into that sum,we break, I became different. I slowly began to speak up in conversations instead of looking at the floor and wishing I could think of something to say. I became more comfortable having the attention spotlight on me, when before it would make me turn red and want to run away. And although it wasn't much, I began to notice myself and my behavior subtle change Ito more and more extroverted and then back into introverted. It was like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. 2 steps forward, and sometimes 3 steps back. And it drove me nuts because I didn't know what was causing it. Some days I felt relaxed and could talk to people and hang out well in groups, and other days I felt like I was trapped inside of someone else who I wanted to forget and cut loose. The part of me that I hated wished nobody could see. 

For years I felt like I was living in this duality of "am I a shy introvert, or am I a cool social guy?!" Because I was both of them at different times. I would study and anilize the slight comments other people would make about me and make empirical study's in my mind of what they meant and what that could mean about myself. I didn't know who I was, didn't have strong beliefs on who I was, and was at effect and mercy of the opinions of others which would then quickly become my internal sees of reality and opinion of mylsef. I wanted them to have a good a pinion of me, so that I could have a good opinion of me. Because I had none of my own and was confised about who I was. I wanted the, to think well of me so that I could think well of me.
There's a very complex cause and effect that happens from your own beliefs about yourself called the Pygmalion effect aka the self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that you are an outgoing person and see yourself as an outgoing person, you mind will make you act like an outgoing person, and then other people will perceive you as an outgoing person and respond to you like an outgoing person and your belief gets stronger and produces the outgoing behavior then gets more enforcement and produces more outgoing behavior and it just become an endless loop that keeps getting stronger and stronger and stronger. 

If you can change the internal belief, and create a new Pygmalion effect, the behaviors although s,all at first over weeks, months, and years, form their own momentum and force to where they just become your normal autopilot way of behaving. But how on earth can you chage the way you see yourself, change you beliefs and create the new behavior that creates a new Pygmalion effect in your favor?

Well I'm not going to lie to you, it's not easy, and takes time. But I do absolutely promose you that it's possible. If you have been behaving socially awkward, feeling socially awkward, and living Ina reality of expecting yourself to be socially awkward for a long time, you're going to have to do a number of things to get the ball rolling on some new and improved beliefs, and be really consistent with some of these key techniques I'm about to show you.
Your self image acts as a small child would, believing whatever you tell it without questioning it. We can use this to our advantage by delibrately showing it how we want to act instead of how we don't want to act. And we do this by taking advantage of the minds most sensitive and impressionable times of first thing in the morning and right before sleep. The reason for this is that's the time when your mind is not fully conscious, and not fully unconscious. Technically speaking its called an "alpha" state. 

When you wake up in the morning, immediately begin Immagining yourself going through the day ahead of you. Only this time instead of behaving shy and introverted, see yourself walking with a sense of swagger and ease. Hear yourself confidently speaking your mind and the positive ways that people react to your new and improved personality. Watch as you see yourself speaking up in those key meetings and really being a key focal point in the group discussion. And have fun with this. Imagine your a kid again and you can create whatever you want from scratch. The way you act. The way you dress. The kinds of things you talk about. See yourself behaving and feeling the ways that you want to behave and feel with intense precision and clairity as if it were a super HD movie being played inside the screen of your mind.

Do this for about 5 minutes and then get on with your day. If you do this for 2 weeks straight you will have planted in your mind a new set of instructions that it can now work on unconsciously finding ways to bring these new ideal behaviors to the surface, and will quietly work on this without you even knowing it in the deep unconscious of your mind. And don't skip even one morning of this exercise for 2 weeks and really get into the Imagining of it to give your mind clear and vivid depiction of yourself behaving in your new ideal way. For extra credit, and even better results do a nighttime session for another 5 minutes right before going to bed. This will ensure you fully saturate you unconscious mind for maximum results.

This technique is extremely powerful not only for changing your self image, but also for things like competitive sports and musical performances. Intacmany of the top Olympic athletes use this on a daily basis and is a key tenant of their training regiment because it allows you to even though your not doing the sport at that moment, still rehearse it in your mind and create more neural pathways in your brain to do that thing even better next time. 
But all the knowledge in the world has no power to change your life for the better unless you take personal responsibility and decide to try it for yourself. Make the commitment to yourself to try this quick little technique and find out if it really is as great as I say. What have you got to lose! 5 minutes of your morning? And do me a favor. Keep me informed with your progress from social anxiety, to true self esteem and personal power by emailing me your ideas, comments, and questions. I want to know what you think. 

You can e-mail me at:
Vince@eliteinnergame.com
Until next time, Live With Courage

-Vince King